It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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