Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize