someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
