Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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