Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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