I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
