Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
