he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
