I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
