i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
