Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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