did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
