i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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