did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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