I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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