Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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