so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
