So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
