It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
