even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
