Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
