I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
