well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
