I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
