I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
