I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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