my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
