So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
