We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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