Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
