upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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