You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
