Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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