oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he puts the penis in happiness.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize