you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
