So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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