I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
