You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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