I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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