I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
