Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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