I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
