I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
