I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i love accidental penises.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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