I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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