apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
