Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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