The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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