farters have to be the big spoon...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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