Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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