Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
