do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
