im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
