"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
