I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
