I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
