we're chasing vodka with high fives
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
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