we have officially lost it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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