for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
