why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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