Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize