yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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