I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
